Week 20 - Cousin Bait - Joe Takacs, Linda_L, and Margaret_L
Week 20: Cousin Bait – Joe Takacs, Linda_L, and Margaret_L
Although I have been developing my family tree, my wife’s family tree, and some trees for close friends for over twenty years, I have not run into the term “cousin bait” until this year. I learned that the purpose of cousin baiting is to attract research cousins. You're looking for people that have information on your genealogy and are willing to share.
I have never purposely set out to bait people to contact me, but let me tell you three short stories where in retrospect, cousin baiting has worked out very well for me.
Joe Takacs – My father’s McLaughlin line
I joined Ancestry in the 1990s. I discovered message boards and decided to go fishing with my first message in the year 2000. I simply stated that I was researching the McLaughlin, Ford, Cook, and Layton families, all of whom had lived in Manhattan, or in Brooklyn or Queens, on Long Island, New York during the last 150 years.
I received nothing, not even a nibble, for 18 months. Then I got a big strike. About a week after 9-11, I received a message from Joe Takacs, an unknown 2nd cousin, who lived on Long Island near where I grew up. He said his grandmother had been Cornelia McLaughlin (1877-1975), and he would be happy to share information. Cornelia was the older sister of my grandfather, William McLaughlin (1879-1962). What a gold mine Joe turned out to be! I knew that my grandfather had had six siblings, but I only knew the names and sketchy details of three of them. Joe shared the names and dates of the missing siblings and their children. During the next eight years we exchanged family pictures, to include a photo of my great grandfather, information about cemeteries, as well as copies of some birth, marriage and death certificates. Unfortunately for Joe, his family, and me, he passed away unexpectedly in 2008 at the young age of 69. But I often wonder what shape my family tree would be in today if Joe had not come across my old message board. It makes me applaud the wisdom of casting a very wide net.
Linda_L. – My mother’s Layton line
Linda is a third cousin who I met online via Ancestry probably 15 years ago or so, well before DNA tests were available and DNA matches were known. The cousin bait that brought us in contact was simply our online genealogical family trees. Can’t recall which one of us established first contact but it was probably Linda. Our common ancestors are great grandparents, Hugh Norris and his wife, Nancy “Ann” McFall. We have some reason to think Ann is from Drummaul, Antrim, Northern Ireland but are still looking for positive proof. Where Linda and I have been a help to each other is working with the five children of the Norris’s and all their many offspring. Linda is related to Hugh and Nancy through Elizabeth Norris (1869-1958) and I am related through Mary Ann Norris (1849-1921). Since DNA testing and DNA matches have become commonplace, Linda has been very active in pursuit of cousins and has inspired me to become more active tracing more of my cousins. We remain in contact to this day.
Margaret_L
Margaret is not a cousin at all, except in the broadest sense of the word. In early May 2021, I worked up a family tree for Rev W.H. Burgwin’s family which had been living in Queens, New York in the 1950s. Although not related to me, Edith Burgwin (1908-2004), daughter of Rev Burgwin, was my stepmother’s best friend for 50 years and her family always seemed like part of our family to me. My daughters even called her Grandma Edith. I have not had contact with anyone in the Burgwin family for over 25 years and I wanted to see what had happened to them. As I was assembling the tree I came across Margaret’s tree for the same Burgwin family. I availed myself of several family photos and additional names and in that process, I left a note (cousin bait) for Margaret that said, “Thank you for making pictures and information available. Although I’m not in the Burgwin tree, Edith Burgwin, was my mother’s best friend for 50 years and the daughter of Rev W.H. Burgwin.” Within 2-3 hours, I received a message on Ancestry from Margaret asking me for information or anecdotes concerning Edith Burgwin. I replied with some information and said, “My wife suggested that I give you my phone number and that way we can exchange more information.” Margaret agreed and we scheduled a call. When we got together, my wife joined us on speaker and we had a wonderful three-way chat about where we all were from, how I came to build a Burgwin tree, genealogy in general, and Edith in particular. Margaret also provided me with contact information for another member of the Burgwin family who is four years older than me (I am 80) and who had been a good friend of mine during our late teens and early 20s. He and I had not talked for sixty years! We had a great call and caught each other up on six decades of life…marriage, children, jobs, location and health. What a wonderful experience for all of us. “Cousin” Margaret, and my old friend Bruce and I would never have encountered each other and talked without a little cousin bait at the right time and place.
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